Ain't No sunshine
Thursday, July 29, 2010 9:01 AM
Still up at this hour of the day...I'm Tired after a few days of mugging of Don know what?I don know what the hell I was busy with?I just seems so tired these few days..I feel like running away to a place where there's nothing but me alone. I need some peace.Hate going out these few days in the night, cos I'm VERY LAZY in dolling up myself to get my ass off my bed and out into the COLD HARD WORLD. Nevertheless, My friends never failed to coax me out eventually.ARGH! I need more self-restraint. HAHAHA!
Woke up the next morning, had a HOT shower and back into my room.Checked my phone,10msges.One of which, which I didn't expect that HE would reply,replied this time.He would always answer an indefinites answer whenever I asked him THAT question,but surprisingly HE gave me an definite answer yesterday.I was over the mood when I saw the replied,that somehow made my day in the PAST,but NOT now. I don know how I should react or DO, since nothing can be done now.That's what he thought of. Well, everything takes two hands to clap isn't it?
It hurts, hurts so bad. But I had to leave, I didn’t have the choice. What I do have left is memories, beautiful memories. I just hope the tears will stop soon,whenever I thought of what we had in the past. Dealing with this myself is too difficult to handle,friends will always be there.Same goes for all those music and alcohol! Once in awhile, I need some numb-ing sessions.
I never told him how I really felt. When I am with him, something felt really right. What I did say just now was what I could manage to squeeze out. I don’t know if this is considered naïve, I believed every word he said. And I believe he really felt this way. Then again, same thing, you just don’t love me enough to want to want me. If you love me enough, nothing is going to stop you. You just love some things about me, you just like us, you just thought about you.This will only hurt for a short period of time, this will all go away. What if I told you I know for sure I want to spend the rest of my life with you? Of course I could never mutter the words out loud. Are you kidding. Life goes on.
I never told him how I really felt. When I am with him, something felt really right. What I did say just now was what I could manage to squeeze out. I don’t know if this is considered naïve, I believed every word he said. And I believe he really felt this way. Then again, same thing, you just don’t love me enough to want to want me. If you love me enough, nothing is going to stop you. You just love some things about me, you just like us, you just thought about you.This will only hurt for a short period of time, this will all go away. What if I told you I know for sure I want to spend the rest of my life with you? Of course I could never mutter the words out loud. Are you kidding. Life goes on. Maybe I should just sleep, that’s how I dealt with this situation after all. We’ll see what the situation is like tomorrow. I hope my brain will get the short term memory mechanism kicking in soon, because every time I close my eyes, all I see is him,memories we had. My eyes are tired. Its time to put the phone down. Time for a new day. A new start. A new adventure that I have to embark regardless =)))
P.S : One day You will understand eventually, How impt I'm in your life.The choice that you and I made have left us with regrets and unbearable pain in the time yet to come.Hope all of these will go away.I left you with choice, the day I never forget.Head back and turn around,19/10. Swept me off my feet and unlocked the icy cold harden heart of mine again.say every words that meant every thing in the bottom of your heart to me.